Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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