I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
