You did not just play the dead husband card again.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
