If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
