They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
