My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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