I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize