Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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