I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I love how my cats smell like pot.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
