sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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