im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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