So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
