Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Randomize
