And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
