I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
