i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
