spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize