i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
