omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
