I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
