I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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