For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
one might say we're banned from that church
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
