Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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