she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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