So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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