Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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