Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
