Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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