this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
