My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
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