Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
