you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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