Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
