the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
