Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
