Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
her vagine was all disorganized.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
