I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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