I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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