sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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