If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
