Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You made out with two different species that night
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
