I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I intend to get homeless drunk
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
