tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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