i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
