fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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