Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
