I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
