I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
