i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize