Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
