matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I came so hard my ears popped.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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