Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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