Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Well I just put wine in my tea
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We need a shit load of segways right now
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
