did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
