She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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