hotel room ftw
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
