Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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