what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
