There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
