I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
nutella sex= disaster
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
