i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
